The Chanukah Song, Part 3 (Radio Version) lyrics - Adam Sandler
[Drei-Dels:] Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Chanukah...
[Adam:] Sounds good, guys!
[Adam:] Give it up for the Drei-Dels, everybody!
[Drei-Dels:] Once again, it's Chanukah. The miracle of Chanukah!
Chanukah is
the festival of lights.
One day of presents?
Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights! (Oh, boy)
But if you still feel like the only kid in town
without a Christmas tree,
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for ya,
so here comes number three!
Ross and Phoebe from Friends
say the Chanukah blessing,
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will and Grace's Debra Messing!
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy,
Maybe they shoulda called that show
Little Kosher House on the Prairie!
We got Jerry Lewis,
Ben Stiller, and Jack Black,
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism,
but you guys can have him back!
(Just kiddin' Tommy!)
We may not get to kiss
underneath the mistletoe,
But we can do it all night long
with Deuce Bigalow!
[Rob Schneider:] I'm Jewish!
[Adam:] Oh, my God. Sweet Robbie Schneider is here!
[Drei-Dels:] Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah...
[Rob Schneider:] The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Chanukaaah!
[Adam:] Ah, good job, Schneider!
[Rob:] What are you talkin' about?!?
[Adam:] All right, now.
Osama bin Laden...
[Audience:] BOO!
Not a big fan of the Jews!
Well maybe that's because he lost a figure skating match
to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!
(Her mama's Jewish.)
Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets
with such precision,
but one thing they could not get out of...
Their painful circumcision!
Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish,
But a full-time Oscar winner,
Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish too,
And I'd like to put some more in her! Whoo!
There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell,
Beck, and Paula Abdul,
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music,
but first came Hebrew school!
Hey!
Natalie Portmanika
It's time to celebrate Chanukah,
I hope I get an Abtronica
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah,
So get a high colonika
And soil your long-johnnakahs
If you really, really wannakah,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah!
[Adam:] Sounds good, guys!
[Adam:] Give it up for the Drei-Dels, everybody!
[Drei-Dels:] Once again, it's Chanukah. The miracle of Chanukah!
Chanukah is
the festival of lights.
One day of presents?
Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights! (Oh, boy)
But if you still feel like the only kid in town
without a Christmas tree,
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for ya,
so here comes number three!
Ross and Phoebe from Friends
say the Chanukah blessing,
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and Will and Grace's Debra Messing!
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy,
Maybe they shoulda called that show
Little Kosher House on the Prairie!
We got Jerry Lewis,
Ben Stiller, and Jack Black,
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism,
but you guys can have him back!
(Just kiddin' Tommy!)
We may not get to kiss
underneath the mistletoe,
But we can do it all night long
with Deuce Bigalow!
[Rob Schneider:] I'm Jewish!
[Adam:] Oh, my God. Sweet Robbie Schneider is here!
[Drei-Dels:] Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah...
[Rob Schneider:] The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Chanukaaah!
[Adam:] Ah, good job, Schneider!
[Rob:] What are you talkin' about?!?
[Adam:] All right, now.
Osama bin Laden...
[Audience:] BOO!
Not a big fan of the Jews!
Well maybe that's because he lost a figure skating match
to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!
(Her mama's Jewish.)
Houdini and David Blaine escape straightjackets
with such precision,
but one thing they could not get out of...
Their painful circumcision!
Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish,
But a full-time Oscar winner,
Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish too,
And I'd like to put some more in her! Whoo!
There's Lou Reed, Perry Farrell,
Beck, and Paula Abdul,
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music,
but first came Hebrew school!
Hey!
Natalie Portmanika
It's time to celebrate Chanukah,
I hope I get an Abtronica
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah,
So get a high colonika
And soil your long-johnnakahs
If you really, really wannakah,
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah!
The Chanukah Song, Part 4 lyrics - Adam Sandler
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah
So much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah
Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here’s the fourth list of people who are Jewish, just like Jesus, Olaf, Punky Brewster, Scott Rudin and me!
Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoys eating kugel
So does Stan Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and the two guys who founded Google
Adam Levine wears a Jewish star
So does Drake and Seth Rogen
Goldberg has a gold yarmulke to match the belt he won from Hulk Hogan
We got Scarlett Johansson, talk about a Kosher crush
And if you need a higher voice to turn you on, how about Geddy Lee from Rush?
We may not have a cartoon with a reindeer that can talk
But we also don’t have polio, thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk (smart Jew!)
Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
Harry Potter and his magic wand-ukah, celebrate Chanukah
Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? "Loveline"’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)
Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from "Frozen"
David Beckham is the king of soccer studs and also a quarter chosen
Ron Jeremy is fully Jewish and so is his foot-long buddy
Shia LaBeouf is half a Jew but a 100 percent nutty
It’s cool that Santa Claus makes Christmas so merry
But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)
From New York to Iran-ukah, get up and celebrate Chanukah
So much fun-ukah to celebrate Chanukah
Chanukkah is the Festival of Lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here’s the fourth list of people who are Jewish, just like Jesus, Olaf, Punky Brewster, Scott Rudin and me!
Joseph Gordon-Levitt enjoys eating kugel
So does Stan Lee, Jake Gyllenhaal, and the two guys who founded Google
Adam Levine wears a Jewish star
So does Drake and Seth Rogen
Goldberg has a gold yarmulke to match the belt he won from Hulk Hogan
We got Scarlett Johansson, talk about a Kosher crush
And if you need a higher voice to turn you on, how about Geddy Lee from Rush?
We may not have a cartoon with a reindeer that can talk
But we also don’t have polio, thanks to Dr. Jonas Salk (smart Jew!)
Put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
Harry Potter and his magic wand-ukah, celebrate Chanukah
Jared from Subway: God dammit, a Jew
But guess who’s Jewish and can fix him? "Loveline"’s Dr. Drew (get on it doc!)
Princess Leia cuts the challah with Queen Elsa from "Frozen"
David Beckham is the king of soccer studs and also a quarter chosen
Ron Jeremy is fully Jewish and so is his foot-long buddy
Shia LaBeouf is half a Jew but a 100 percent nutty
It’s cool that Santa Claus makes Christmas so merry
But we get two jolly fat guys: ice cream’s Ben & Jerry (both Jewish!)
From New York to Iran-ukah, get up and celebrate Chanukah
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